maybe ill fill the void with a puppy.

for me, on of the greatest feelings in life, is to be appriciated.

thanks sarah- for getting that project done asap
thanks sarah- for having a great attitude
thanks sarah- for being the greatest girl out there

etc. [you get the point]

but when you dont get that appriciation, or if it is fake a phony... you have to sit and wonder what are you doing wrong?

i am not worth that two seconds of breath? am i getting fired? do they no longer love me?

my life is filled with voids, pretty much everywhere.

work right now is a dead in. i used to love coming into work everyday, but now its like a chore almost being there for 9 straight hours. i do not get oppurtinities that i deserve and it leaves me broke and without a plan. to top it all off, i have no idea what i should do with the rest of my life, and i refuse to just settle. i wish i could be good at that one thing, and it take me far. [realistically, it wont happen]

my father is another void. i will never be the perfect daughter that he has created in his head. im human, i make mistakes just like everyone else. but he never chooses to accept that. i just wish that for one day, he would just let me be, and not critise everything going wrong in my life and just accept me for what i am.

the love life is a wreck. why is it so difficult to meet someone who you can connect with? last night i went to some bar with my good friend missy. i wanted to take the oppurtnity to see what is out there. and let me tell you, nothing was out there. there were attractive men, though these men were taken or seriously not worth the time. Then there is the only men who were avaliable were 50 years of age and missing teeth. -not at all the type i would find to be intresting.

yesterday however, hannah, carley and i are looking at puppies at a pet store in the mall.
here we found the love of our lives.
this little one was the cutest ever and was so loveable. just the type of dog that i want. now if only i was allowed to get this thing.

i supose ill continue dreaming. just like for everything else.